divorcehope

My divorce story…picking up the pieces, making sense of the mess, single parenting, and other encouragement along the way!

Don’t Doubt or You’ll be Tossed About! April 9, 2013

Filed under: Divorce,Encouragement — justmejesusandsippycups @ 1:33 pm

ocean

James 1:2-8

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”

Ouch….again. I’ve been convicted this weekend about my attitude and being frustrated with the parts of my story that I don’t understand. I’ve doubted the way things have played out over the past year and a half, and I’ve even said “I hate” the way certain things have gone.

Oh God, please forgive me for doubting You and being unstable….and for being so easily tossed about by the wind of the opinions of others and my circumstances….

This could speak to so many areas, but in this entry, I am referring to something very specific that I have been wrestling with. You see, there is a piece of my story that required legal action. While it was necessary at the time, and I waited until the 11th hour when I literally had no other choice, it is still not the way I would have chosen, and it leaves me feeling grieved, misunderstood, and frankly alone.

As I look back on the details of how things played out, the truth is that after I genuinely repented of my sin and my part, I gave it all to God and prayed for His covering and guidance every step of the way. While the effects of sin are always death and destruction and the consequences are real, I also believe there is always a bigger picture and a redemptive plan in the making with God. He sees the end from the beginning and is always at work behind the scenes. His perspective is limitless and ours is so finite….and most often self-centered.

By doubting His sovereignty….I have basically said by my words and actions that the way He chose to work things out…was WRONG. In my searching and wrestling, I’ve acted as if I know better than God and as if I don’t trust Him.

The results of the legal action brought some financial provision for me that I literally could not have survived without…as my 10-year marriage and family were falling apart, I was abandoned and left with nothing but a two-year old and a newborn to care for.

I’ve had to completely start from scratch, but I know that God has and will continue to provide as He has promised in His Word. (Philippians 4:19 – And my God will supply ALL your needs according to His riches and glory in Christ Jesus.)

So…it looks like we’re back to trusting God in and for the crooked places. And having FAITH in Him when we can’t see or don’t understand…since that’s the very definition of faith. (Now faith is the very substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen – Hebrews 11:1).

We must choose to forgive those who pass judgment on what they don’t understand….because if we don’t, we will end up bitter, resentful, and angry. And I really don’t want that. I want more faith to trust God for what I don’t understand….and to trust Him when things don’t make sense or when they don’t go according to MY plan or what I think is best.

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young is probably the best devotional I’ve come across. The entries are short yet powerful and always timely no matter how many times I read them. NOT coincidentally, today’s devotion goes along with what I have shared, so I will close with it!

April 8 – I Am With You and For You

“I am with you and for you, your constant Companion and Provider. The question is whether you are with Me and for Me. Though I never leave you, you can essentially “leave” Me by acting as if I am not with you. When you feel distance in our relationship, you know where the problem lies. My Love for you is constant; I am the same yesterday, today, and forever. It is you who change like shifting sand, letting circumstances toss you this way and that.

When you feel far from Me, whisper My Name. This simple act, done in childlike faith, opens your heart to My Presence. Speak to Me in love-tones; prepare to receive My Love, which flows eternally from the cross. I am delighted when you open yourself to My loving Presence.

Genesis 28:15 – “I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Romans 8:31 – If God is for us, who can be against us?

Hebrews 13:8 – Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Advertisements
 

Guilty as Charged!! April 5, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — justmejesusandsippycups @ 6:29 pm

“Stop Instagramming Your Perfect Life” – Another article I read this morning that I wanted to share……
perfect family

Ouch. Guilty. This is something my counselor has brought up several times over the past few months – Facebook and Instagram are not reality – yet this is something I continue to be guilty of falling into believing. Can you relate?

I think this can be ESPECIALLY true for those of us who have walked through or are walking through divorce. We have more moments alone…and more lonely moments. And on top of that, if you’re like me, we are still processing some regrets and many what-ifs. We are still trying to make sense of what happened and where our lives are going now.

Can I challenge us, instead of focusing on others, to believe a truth I’ve been holding onto?

Romans 8:28 says, “We are assured and know that all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.”

He’s a good God! I don’t know how He does it, but when we allow Him, He does work ALL things together for GOOD! We live in a fallen world, and bad things happen….sometimes as a result of our sin (or the sins of others) and sometimes hard things happen that simply can’t be explained this side of Heaven.

In and through it all, God wants us to trust Him…to repent and seek forgiveness when we need to….and then relinquish control and TRUST HIM. Seek Him above everything else and trust His goodness, faithfulness and most of all His love for us.

Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL these things will be added unto you.”

You’ll find out as my story continues to unfold, that I have A LOT to trust Him for….there is A LOT of mess in my life that needs to be worked together for GOOD.

But…I’m doing my best to keep my eyes on Him. I know now more than ever before that His word is TRUTH….all of it…and His ways lead to life and freedom. He does what he says He will do…and He CAN be trusted.

Check out this challenging article and be encouraged that NO ONE’s life is PERFECT.

“Stop Instagramming Your Perfect Life”

 

Tough Lesson! April 4, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — justmejesusandsippycups @ 8:45 pm

Shortly after my divorce, I subscribed to the daily encouragement emails from DivorceCare.

DivorceCare is an organization that provides resources and support groups for people overcoming / recovering from the effects of divorce.  They offer a free subscription to a daily email for an entire year.  They are short and concise, but powerful and so on point!  They are clearly written by people that have been through divorce and understand all the different stages and layers.   I would HIGHLY recommend them.

Today’s email was so good, I wanted to share it.  This is a timeless and core truth that we would ALL benefit from grasping/embracing, no matter what you are going through!  I hope this encourages you today!

You Are Complete with God
Day 181

“It’s unfair and unrealistic to expect that there is a man or a woman out there who can please you forever or fulfill your heart,” says Rob Eagar.

Whether you are married or single, you will only be complete in a relationship with God through His Son Jesus. Examine your spiritual life to see if you are complete through Christ, or if you feel that another person would help to make you whole.

“My heart will never be fulfilled until I realize that I am complete and that the only Person who truly loves me unconditionally is Jesus Christ Himself,” continues Rob.

Humans are imperfect. We are flawed, and we do not have the ability to fulfill another person.

Jesus Christ, though, is perfect. Because of His love, you can be in a right relationship with God, and you can flourish in that relationship. God has a higher purpose for you than to find a mate. Trust Him.

Cathy shares, “Marriage is supposed to be the strongest relational bond here on earth, but I realize now that I put my marriage before Christ. I clung to my husband and depended on him too much. I should only have that kind of dependence on Christ. When everything was taken away, it was like God said, ‘Okay, Cathy, you’re alone; you’re stripped. Now let Me show you who you really are. Let Me show you how much I love you. Let me show you the person I created you to be.”

John 15:5 – “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

Faithful God, Your love is trustworthy and amazing. Whether I remarry or remain single for the rest of my days, You are all I need to be complete. Amen.

 

Healthy Tips from a Tired Mom :) April 2, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — justmejesusandsippycups @ 3:21 pm

Ok so let’s just be honest…  Divorce is STRESSFUL to say the least, and it undoubtedly takes its toll…physically, mentally, and emotionally.  So does single-parenting.

Some days I literally feel beat-up and worn out just from the mental battles…trying to figure things out, worrying about my kids, and trying NOT to worry!!  I am continuing to look to the Lord for help with this!  He tells us NOT to worry (Matthew 6) because there’s no point!!  All it does is leave us feeling down and discouraged!

Other days its sleep deprivation and others it’s a stomach ache….be it from not eating well or just from the stress and pain of a broken heart. Seems like it’s always SOMETHING, right?!?

stress

I’m so thankful for ALL of the information I’ve been given over the years about the benefits of healthy living!  I wanted to take a minute to share a few things with you that have been tremendously helpful for me throughout this painful and life-changing process.

EXERCISE!!  Endorphins!  Seriously….endorphins are the BEST addiction! There’s nothing like them for stress-relief and an energy boost! The days I feel like I don’t have the energy to get up are the days that a simple workout – even 30 minutes – gives me the boost I need to accomplish more than I would otherwise.  Seriously….you would think it would only make you more tired, but it actually energizes and revitalizes you!  Plus, it helps you sleep better!  Give it a try.  I’ve found Pinterest to be a tremendous resource for simple but effective workouts in my living room after my kids are in bed while I catch up on my favorite shows.

WATER – drink plenty…enough said.  The health benefits are limitless.

I’ve tried countless different vitamins and supplements over the years, but there’s one simple tip I’ve come across recently that has seriously made a huge difference for me….so much so that I wanted to share it!

 Raw/Organic APPLE CIDER VINEGAR 

Check it out for yourself!   It tastes terrible and is honestly pretty brutal to take, but it’s so worth it.  A Tablespoon in the morning and one in the evening….or two Tablespoons once a day.  I’ve been taking it straight, but grape juice helps dilute the pungent flavor. There have been days that my stomach hurts so bad I can’t stand up straight….or I’ve had terrible heartburn and it has made me feel better literally within minutes.  Here’s a little info…but do some research for yourself, and give it a try!

Apple Cider Vinegar