My divorce story…picking up the pieces, making sense of the mess, single parenting, and other encouragement along the way!

From Lonliness to Hope August 28, 2013

Filed under: Divorce,Encouragement,Uncategorized — justmejesusandsippycups @ 8:48 pm

Hope = joyful anticipation of good. Pastor Bill Johnson said that when we are in Christ, any area of our lives that we are not experiencing joyful anticipation of good is under the influence of a lie.


I’ve really been leaning into the Lord in my loneliness in this season. My job is a little mundane…so that leaves me with plenty of time alone, away from my kids, to think. This can be a bit maddening if I allow it, but it can also be a great opportunity when applied properly and intentionally!

I have been asking the Lord about the timing of looking for another job where I can be challenged and used more to the level of my capacity/ability, but the response I get is that I am right where I am supposed to be for this season. I am grateful for the stability, provision, and flexibility with my current job, and on the slower days, for the opportunity to take every thought captive, to choose to have the mind of Christ, and to love the Lord with all my mind!

My goal in this season of singleness is to reach deep within and work out as much of the brokenness from my past as possible. I am peeling back layer after layer of lies that I have allowed to become strongholds. I am also seeking to truly depend on the Lord for EVERYTHING – to look to him as my Husband, Father and Father to my children, Provider, Friend, Comforter, Counselor, and Guide. He is my portion, and He is always MORE THAN ENOUGH. The question is….will I allow Him to fill me or will I look to other things which will NEVER be enough?

I do not think it is a coincidence that He is using this season to realign my thoughts and to make me fully dependent on Him before allowing me to move into a new season. I hope to be married again and that God will provide an earthly father for my son, but I want it to be right and in His perfect timing. I want to be completely healed and whole before moving into a new relationship so that  I can offer the best me possible!

We can tend to blame other people or outside circumstances on having to wait for things we desire, but more often, God is waiting for us to change our perspectives, to let go, or to simply surrender and let Him completely fill us despite our circumstances. My mom believed for years for my dad to get saved and give up alcohol…she anguished, waited, and fought. However, it wasn’t until she fully gave it over to God and allowed herself to be fulfilled and completely satisfied in Him that my dad finally came to the Lord. She had to learn to depend on Him first as well as start moving into the ministry God had for her before she began to see change around her.

The incredibly wise Ruth Bell Graham said:

“It is a foolish woman who expects her husband to be to her that which only Jesus Christ Himself can be: ready to forgive, totally understanding, unendingly patient, invariably tender and loving, unfailing in every area, anticipating every need, and making more than adequate provision. Such expectations put a man under an impossible strain. The same goes for the man who expects too much from his wife.”

And yet, there are those innate desires that we were created with and that cry out from within. In his book Wild at Heart, John Eldredge describes three longings that lie at the heart of every man: a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue, and an adventure to live. He goes on to say that women have three main longings in their hearts as well: to be fought for, to share in an adventure, and to have her beauty unveiled. I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure I could say it better myself.

And so the challenge becomes, how do these longings get fulfilled? Where’s the balance between fulfillment in God and fulfillment in a man of God? A question I have been wrestling with lately. I know I will never find complete fulfillment in man, but I also believe that we need each other.

I think it comes down to being content while contending. We must choose to let go and trust that God has good things in store for us because that’s His character. His Word is FULL of His promises for His children…promises that are far better than anything we could ask for or even imagine (Ephesians 3:20) So, we rest in Him and trust in Him. We let go of what we can’t control and trust God to do things HIS WAY and in HIS TIMING. We truly rest in Him and become DOERS of the Word. We allow His Word to renew our minds. We spend time with Him and in His presence because He is worthy of it all.

Take a few minutes to read and reflect on His promises in this amazing and comforting passage of Scripture…and this is just one of THOUSANDS. As a woman who has lived through the drama and shame of a scandalous affair and divorce, these promises bring me so much hope and peace. I choose to believe and stand on God’s Word….I will not be defined by my past, but will continue to fight for freedom and righteousness in every area of my life….not only for myself but for my children and the generations to follow.

I wanted to highlight this whole passage it’s so good!!!! Check this out and let’s choose to JUST LET GO and walk in obedience, trust, and rest in Him!

Isaiah 54 –

“Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed; neither be confounded and depressed, for you shall not be put to shame. For you shall forget the shame of your youth, and you shall not [seriously] remember the reproach of your widowhood any more.

For your Maker is your Husband—the Lord of hosts is His name—and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; the God of the whole earth He is called.

For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken, grieved in spirit, and heartsore—even a wife [wooed and won] in youth, when she is [later] refused and scorned, says your God.

For a brief moment I forsook you, but with great compassion and mercy I will gather you [to Me] again.

In a little burst of wrath I hid My face from you for a moment, but with age-enduring love and kindness I will have compassion and mercy on you, says the Lord, your Redeemer.

For this is like the days of Noah to Me; as I swore that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so have I sworn that I will not be angry with you or rebuke you.

For though the mountains should depart and the hills be shaken or removed, yet My love and kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace and completeness be removed, says the Lord, Who has compassion on you.

O you afflicted [city], storm-tossed and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in fair colors [in antimony to enhance their brilliance] and lay your foundations with sapphires.

And I will make your windows and pinnacles of [sparkling] agates or rubies, and your gates of [shining] carbuncles, and all your walls [of your enclosures] of precious stones.

And all your [spiritual] children shall be disciples [taught by the Lord and obedient to His will], and great shall be the peace and undisturbed composure of your children.

You shall establish yourself in righteousness (rightness, in conformity with God’s will and order): you shall be far from even the thought of oppression or destruction, for you shall not fear, and from terror, for it shall not come near you.

Behold, they may gather together and stir up strife, but it is not from Me. Whoever stirs up strife against you shall fall and surrender to you.

Behold, I have created the smith who blows on the fire of coals and who produces a weapon for its purpose; and I have created the devastator to destroy.

But no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall show to be in the wrong. This [peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord [those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced]; this is the righteousness or the vindication which they obtain from Me [this is that which I impart to them as their justification], says the Lord.”